Why do we look for perfection all around us when nothing in the world is perfect? I wonder about this often and I can never understand it. I am far from a perfect person, body, or anything at all. Everyone has their own problems that make them imperfect so why does this fact take precedence in todays society? I find it often when I seek to talk to someone they can blow me of without a second word simply because I am not a vision of perfection to them on first site. Frankly I guess I realize that most of these people I try to do this with I am simply testing my theory that most people are stuck up self indulgent morons. It takes a lot and means a lot often times when people are willing to overlook small defects in someone to actually get to know someone. I try to do this too where I will often try to get to know someone before I label them in my category of self indulgent moron but often times they put themselves there on their own.

I find myself wishing I could find a average woman that I can engage in conversation and become friends with before I seek to take that relationship to a more serious level. I have never been a guy that jumps into relationships for the sheer hell of it or just on the basis of “Oh that woman is sexy I want to date her.” I dont simply understand it but I think its because in a woman I seek someone who is very similar to me in most respects. I want to find someone who is intelligent, has a quick wit, and will let me know when I do something stupid. And by the stupid thing I mean when I do it for real and not under the assumtion most women make that men do everything stupidly and for no reason. I think I am a competent and very intelligent young man and I dont think that I should have to deal with witless people around me. Most of my friends I understand on one level or another why they do things and I hope that they have that understanding of me too.

Why is it when men have the view that it is good to be friends with someone you want a serious relationship with a bad thing? I dont get it. If you are looking for someone to spend the rest of your life with you should be friends on one level or another with your soon to be/current partner before you ever choose to become married and I think this is why most relationships fail. A lot of people get married before they ever get past the 3-4 beginning phase of “oooo your so cute.” stage of the relationship. I think that to truly know whether your relationship will withstand the test of time has to do with the compromise, understanding and recovery time behind your fights after the initial “butterflies in my stomach” stage of the relationship.

Maybe thats the difference….I would like to have that serious relationship in my life and know that eventually it could lead to marriage and a family, where a lot of people dont know what they want at my age or at least havent thought about it yet. Anyways feel free to leave your comments and let me know whether its so wrong that I think this way or if I am just being to rough on myself and others.

It was my Birthday yesterday. July 15 2008……23 years old. I always find myself wondering on my birthday what the next year is going to hold or what will happen. In the past this has always been easy for me to figure out because I had school. It was easy to just drop my little mental exercise on the fact that the next year just meant 1 more year of school and one more year closer to my goal of graduation. Now that I have graduated I dont know what I am going to work towards. I suppose doing well at my job? But isnt this what happens to a lot of graduates? They get so caught up in their work that they fail to see what is around them, like friends, family and just enjoying themselves. I am going to try to avoid this trap by enjoying what God has given me and living my life to the fullest and enjoying every moment of it. Starting of course with this weekend of White Water Rafting! It should prove to be a blast even though I have never gone before. I will be spending 3 days with my friends camping and rafting. I dont think there is a better way to spend 3 days and I consider it a sort of Birthday present for myself. Short comments today I think but ehh what the hell I have a life to live.

I find it funny how people can get used to the daily grind of work. I only just graduated and already am beginning to wonder why the hell am I doing this. I think I can answer this question for myself by saying I enjoy paychecks. But I mean seriously why is it that people are willing to subject themselves to a job they dont like for 20+ years? A main example of this I think is Judy who works behind me day after day doing the same thing for the past 10 years. She constantly gets work dumped on her that noone else wants to do and is very unappreciated for what she does do. I think the need for that consistency is why eventually people get so comfortable that they arent willing to take any risks to get noticed or even do the things they possibly once dreamed of doing when they were younger. I think that no matter what I have to promise myself that I am not going to grow into a person who trys to overall remain unnoticed and go for the things that I want in this life.

Talking about this just makes me think about my friend and I who both wish to go to Japan for an extended period of time. I am not sure whether this is due to our fascination with historical Japan and the Japanese culture or because after having our lives dictated to us by others for the past 23+ years we both seek to have something that we know was decided by us. All our lives we have heard that schooling was the most important thing to finish above all else but we never thought to question it and sometimes I am left wondering. I dont regret the decision to come to College or joining Theta Chi because without either of these things I would not be who I am today. I want to do the things that seem adventurous to me. Like skydiving, white water rafting, visiting foreign countries and other things such as these.  Japan I think would be a wonderful start to this. Also I think that stepping back from the life I currently have to go to Japan would give me a more valuable appreciation for what I do have. I think I need to step back and evaluate what it means to be me and whether the past 20 years have been me turning to the cautious path instead of something far more valuable. Self discovery is something I very much would like to have happen but I dont think its possible to understand what goes on in my head. I think I am even sarcastic to myself when I dont think I should be. Sarcasm is a tool my wit has developed as a source of entertainment for others and also as a blade to annoy and confuse the people I dont like. I just sometimes wonder if my thoughts are not sometimes my own worst enemy when it comes to trying new things.

This just brings me to my next point on why I hate stupid people. People in general have a way to annoy more than I could possibly annoy them. I find it irritating that although I consider myself and the people I am around for the most part competent and logical people the people I cannot understand or accept are the people who lack the common sense for even the most basic tasks.  When  you have people out there making it necessary for a website dedicated to people who end up getting themselves killed for stupid reasons (meaning the Darwin Awards) it makes me fear for the future of the human race sometimes. I think Darwinism still exists for these people because even though it seems like there are more people socially incapable of a decent idea its good to know that they are removing themselves from the gene pool through their own stupidity.  I can honestly believe that movies like Idiocracy could possibly happen in another 500-1000 years. I dont know how to solve this but its not like it would do much at the moment anyways.

I have never been much for online blogging but I decided to give it a try. I am a recently graduated Mechanical Engineer from Ohio Northern University, and damn am I glad that its over with. Ohio Northern is a good school but I am still uncertain if the $35k+ a year was worth it. I did the co-op program with my education there and earned about 9 months of work experience that has helped me a lot in finding a job. Its a lot easier when people dont look at your GPA for the job search. Personally I think that I am capable of solving most problems given time and resources needed.

I am still enjoying the college atmosphere at least for this summer while I work most of the day I am still living in my old place and hanging with my fraternity brothers for the time being. Theta Chi was one of the best decisions I made in my time at Northern. I dont think I would have ended up the same person I am today if I hadnt made that choice. I have made many friends and have thoroughly enjoyed my time with them. I even may continue to do so as an alumni if they choose to let me. Either way I will try to help them in any way I can.

I honestly believe that even if God doesnt interfere with our day to day lives he does give us oppurtunities that we have to take advantage of the things he places in front of us. Sometimes it doesnt work out the way we would like but I have to believe that he has a reason for it even if we dont understand it and never could. I have been raised by my strong christian mother who raised us on her own. I love my mother a lot even though she can seem very controlling at times.

Hoping that in the next few months I can get settled into a job and start getting myself some stuff I need, like a new car and a new place to live here. Anyways I dont know what to actually write in here but I figured I would give this a try.